Where Are All the Good Men?
As mentioned in an earlier posting, I just read the following book:
Ray, Paul H. and Anderson, Sherry Ruth (2000). The Cultural Creatives: How 50 Million People Are Changing the World. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
In this book the authors present three Americas struggling to define what the country should be: Traditionals, Moderns and Cultural Creatives. The authors show how each one emerged historically, and how the Cultural Creatives in particular grew out of the social movements of the Sixties right up to Seattle's WTO demonstrations, and from the consciousness movements in spirituality, psychology and alternative health. They conclude that all the different kinds of movements are converging now, with the Cultural Creatives at the core.
One of the "side-effects" of this social development is that many women ask the question that is also a Section Title in the book: ”Where are all the Good Men?” I transcribe the text of this section for your further down and place it also into our Non-arrogant Elite Women Network project on our Intervention Agenda.
”Where are all the Good Men?”
Ray & Anderson (2000), pp. 23-24
Only one demographic statistics stands out about the Cultural Creatives: 60 percent of them are women. In the Core group, the proportion rises to about 67 percent, or two-thirds. The way women formulate issues of caring, family life, children, education, relationships, and responsibility for others is reflected in Cultural Creatives’ values and beliefs. Women’s ways of valuing are finally coming out of the private domain into public life. That’s the good news. The bad news is that there are not enough men to go around.
Our friend Carol is visiting from Boston, and once again she’s complaining about a too-familiar problem that faces many women Cultural Creatives: “Where are all the good men?” An outgoing, attractive woman in her fifties, Carolyn certainly looks as if she should not have the least bit of trouble attracting male attention if she wants it. She wants it, she tells us, but the pickings are slim. And she wonders if she’s done something wrong in her life.
“Will you stop psychologizing about it?” Paul burst out. “It’s not about you, and it’s not your fault.” He’s shouting a little, which isn’t the least bit necessary since he has Carolyn’s rapt attention. “There’s an objective scarcity of men who fit your values and lifestyle,” he explains. “Core Cultural Creatives like you are two-thirds women. It’s like being in a tribe with too few eligible mates. So long as you’ll settle only for men who are like you, with your perspective and your values, it’s going to feel like there’s a scarcity of good men.”
“Oh, fine,” she retorts. “So where are all the others hiding out?”
“I guess they’re playing with their techno-toys and are caught up with the bottom line and getting ahead. Your values of personal growth, spirituality, and ecology might show up way down on their list. In your social class, more men are Moderns. Too many women are inclined to blame themselves when they don’t find the partners they want. But what can you do? The fact is that women are leading the way here. The new cultural development and new values are coming mostly from them.”
She looks at him despairingly.
“And men are lagging somewhat,” Paul adds weakly.
“Yes, they do grow up slower than we do, don’t they?” She laughs lightly. “Well, I’m certainly glad to hear it’s not my fault!”
It’s hard not to hear the catch in her voice.