Newsletter Nr. 6 (December 2005, subsequent to our 6th Annual Conference, our 2005 NY Workshop - please see also our Conference Notes: Day One, Day Two)
By Evelin Lindner, NY (December 18, 2005)
and the participants of our workshop
(December 2005)
Contents
• Pictures
• Thanks!
• What We Attempt to Achieve
• Plans for Action
• Costa Rica
• Book on Violent Conflict and Humiliation
• Business
• Research
• E-Journal
• Special Issue on "History and Humiliation"
• Education
• Email List
• Funding and Legal Status
• Background Reflections
• Leadership: Selfless | Authority | Creativity | Organization as Orchestra
• Evelin's Finances
• Walk the Talk
• Glass Half Full
• Old Methods
• The Need for Wisdom
• Shame, Humiliation, and Humility
• Henrik Wergeland's poem Christmas Eve That Changed the Norwegian Constitution
• Reactions Subsequent to Our Conference
• Welcome Again!
Pictures
(Important note to our conference particants: During our conferences, we always make an effort to ask for your permission to have your pictures posted on this website. However, you may have overheard or misunderstood our question, or you may have changed your mind since, either in total or for specific pictures/videos, please let us know! Thank you! Since we wish to walk the talk of dignity, it is very important for us to do our utmost in respecting everybody's privacy. We do not wish to gather written permissions from you during our conferences, since we value the building of mutual trust in relationships, and we would like to refrain from contributing to an ever more bureaucratic and legalistic society. Again, thank you so much for kindly holding hands with us in respectful mutuality in this matter!)
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Please click here or in the middle of the picture to see all the pictures from Evelin's camera. |
Dear Friends! Dear Participants of our 2005 Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict (representing the Sixth Annual HumanDHS conference), 15-16, December, 2005!
We had a wonderful workshop in NY! It was entitled:
2005 Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict
(representing the Sixth Annual HumanDHS Conference)!
Please see:
• Pictures of our workshop from Evelin's camera
• Pictures of our 2005 workshop from Judy Kuriansky's camera
Please see here the videos of this evening:
We began with Neil Ryan Walsh singing for us, then Linda Hartling welcomed everybody, then Morton Deutsch spoke, and after him David Hamburg. He was followed by Maria Volpe and Evelin Lindner, the Founding Manager of HumanDHS.
The videos were taken by Judy Kuriansky.
• This is part 1 of the entire video. What you see here, are the preparations for the evening. Neil is practicing his singing and Evelin is trying to make the video projector and microphones work.
• This is part 2 of the entire video. Neil Ryan Walsh sings
• This is part 3 of the entire video. Linda Hartling welcomes everybody
• This is part 4 of the entire video. Morton Deutsch speaks (first 10 minutes)
• This is part 5 of the entire video. Morton Deutsch speaks (second 10 minutes)
• This is part 6 of the entire video. David Hamburg speaks (first 10 minutes)
• This is part 7 of the entire video. David Hamburg speaks (second 10 minutes)
• This is part 8 of the entire video. David Hamburg speaks (third 10 minutes)
• Maria Volpe's talk is still being processed.
Please read in this newsletter more about how this meeting evolved.
Thanks!
May I express my sincere gratitude and appreciation to all of you who joined our 2005 Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict representing the Sixth Annual HumanDHS Conference! You ALL made our workshop a unique and extremely exiting experience! As after our previous conferences, I felt as if I went through a hurricane, so many creative contributions "swirled" through our workshop! I feel that I can hardly think a clear thought just now!
Our workshop was a closed workshop. We could have had many more participants and unfortunately had to say "no" to many of you who wrote to us and wished to participate. We would like to express our regret to all of you who did not have the chance to participate. We will try to broaden our activities (and resources!) in the future! Please bear with us and give us your support so that we can grow in a constructive way!
I would like to thank our amazing hosts, Andrea Bartoli (Center for International Conflict Resolution (CICR) at Columbia University) and Morton Deutsch and his wonderful team (International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution (ICCCR) at Columbia University). I wish to give special thanks to Alba Taveras (CICR) and Beth Fisher-Yoshida, Melissa Sweeney, Kathryn Crawford, Naira Musallam! I also wish to thank Judit Révész. We were able to build on the work she did last year, and without her support this year, we would not have been awarded new funding.
Please let me express special thanks to Rick Slaven, Miriam Marton, and Tonya Hammer for caring so wonderfully for us, and making us all feel safe! Warm thanks also to Rebecca Klein who, as always, took notes during the entire workshop, to everybody's amazement as to how she manages to get such an overwhelming work done so wonderfully. Our warmest thanks also to Linda Hartling and Donald Klein for setting the frame of appreciative inquiry. Our dear thanks furthermore to our moderators Beth Fisher-Yoshida, Judith Thompson, Miriam Marton, Ana Ljubinkovic, Manas Ghanem and Annette Engler!
And, of course, our warmest gratitude to Alan B. Slifka for his financial help for our workshop! We were able to have catering and participants who otherwise would not have been able to attend, received support!
May I end by thanking Morton Deutsch, David Hamburg and Maria Volpe for their inspiration at our Public Event on the afternoon of Thursday, December 15. Their example is extremely encouraging. I personally draw my dedication for my work from thinking of the courageous and insightful life-work of Morton Deutsch. And I remember David Hamburg sharing with me how he made Mikhail Gorbachev aware that only South Africa would survive in case of a nuclear exchange between the Soviet Union and the United States. And Maria Volpe gave us all hope by showing a simple practical approach to building a better world.
Finally, Donald Klein moved us all deeply on Friday morning. He shows us how to live in awe and wonderment. I personally am very aware of the shortness of life, every minute. I do not wish to live my life in pettiness. I am not happy if the only thing I am asked to think about is the "color of my car," particularly not while millions of human beings do not even have a minimum of livelihood. I wish to live in Don's broad and deep world of significance and meaning.
I wish to thank our three octogenarians for moving us all and bringing us together in caring generosity. We need your wisdom, dear Mort, David and Don!
What We Attempt to Achieve
Jessica Benjamin wrote to us after our workshop: "there were so many things to discuss! So many different people with all different angles nationally, theoretically, practically. A feast and a feat to put that together, I guess it took an enormous amount of energy."
Yes, dear Jessica, we wish our conferences and workshops to be innovative in that they attempt to build bridges and open new horizons. We wish to make research relevant for practice and vice versa. And you are also right that lots of energy is needed for that endeavor. Bridge-building and opening-new-horizons is difficult, by definition, and requires all of us to learn how to "walk the talk." And indeed, this demands an enormous amount of energy from everybody! It is comparably easy to cut down a tree, but much more difficult to nurture the growing of a forest. Likewise, it is easy to be frustrated and lament, accuse others and oneself of falling short of envisaged ideals. It is hard work, in contrast, to contain and channel frustration, pain, and anger in constructive ways. Cohesion, peace, nurturing connections and relationships, all those states-of-being we yearn for, are the result of investing lots of energy into constructively containing whatever hampers them. Peace is not the absence of shortcomings or conflict, but their constructive incorporation into a larger and more benign containment.
Instead of trying to "observe" the world from a "safe" distance, instead of retreating into skeptic or even hurt isolation, we attempt to stretch ourselves and invest our energy in building bridges. Even if this is difficult, it is necessary, we believe. People are often compartmentalized in isolated realms, for example in academic disciplines (literally "disciplining" their members), or in academics and practitioners. Often different languages are spoken to an extent that we do not learn from each other. We wish to make all aware that turfs, though often staunchly defended, may at times also stultify potential mutual fertilization. Academics would be surprised, for example, if they knew how much research is carried out by practitioners, and how much they could indeed learn from practitioners. We would like to invite both - academics and practitioners - into something of a Third Room where we meet as equals who wish to jointly draw maximum use of the efforts we all invest.
At the end of our workshop, I was searching for metaphors that could highlight the significance of building constructive connections and relationships. I tried to express how our first task is to build constructive relationships among ourselves (and, of course, ultimately among humanity at large), relationships which are characterized by mutual respect for equal dignity and by warmth and care.
Perhaps the floor on which we stand can serve as imagery, or the forest, or a raft in the river. When we stand on a floor, or in a forest, we usually take them for granted. We tend to believe that the floor, or the forest, are simply "there." However, in reality, the floor and the forest are like rafts. It is quite an illusion to believe that they are safely "there." The moment there is a hole, the raft leaks and disintegrates. The floor, the forest, the raft, can only carry cargo when intact. Therefore, it must be our priority to nurture the carrying capacity of the foundations, in which we intend to trust, and our relationships represent this carrying capacity. If we believe that good relationships are "merely there" and can be "loaded" ad infinitum, we do that at our peril.
As Don said, we do not wish to end up with a global village of monoculture, but of diversity. We wish the world to carry a load that is characterized by diversity, both biological diversity and socio-cultural diversity. For this aim, the image of the rain forest is perhaps most suitable. It requires an intricate complex web of interdependent biological dynamics to give home to wonderful birds and flowers and useful medicinal plants. The rain forest is more than a simple floor, it represents a highly-complicated carrier. However, like a raft, the moment we allow for too many holes, everything disappears. The rain forest, as human relationships, requires a huge amount of nurturing to stay a highly complex carrier, and sometimes one single hole can make everything sink. One bulldozer can be enough, literally, for the forest to disappear, and in the case of relationships, certain mindsets (rugged individualism, for example, or the lack of cognitive-emotional generosity, caring, courage and Buberian I-Though orientation) can have the same effect.
Therefore, when I was rounding up our workshop, I tried to express that our primary attention must go to our relationship-building and -nurturing and not to the "contents," the "products," "the load," because the latter depends on the intact carrying capacity of the former.
Often women do the "job" of relationship building so well that some men do not even know that this task exists. I assume that a culture of cynical and confrontational debate - not least in the academic sphere - could grow only because of the invisibility of the need for relationship-building to many men. In contrast, we, in our network, would like to invite both, men and women, into an alternative way of communication, a communication embedded into mutual connection in a shared vision - and not in exchanges of pressure and "trading" of items of narrow self-interest.
We are furthermore not used to think in these lines, because, when people are employed and come to work for a salary, the situation is somewhat different as compared to our voluntary network. In a "job," the motivation (to various degrees, of course) is immediate livelihood. Our motivation, in our network, in contrast, is to help forge long-term sustainable livelihood for humankind on planet Earth. Therefore, we need different strategies for making people come "to the job." We need to give and accept another kind of "salary," every minute, not just once a month, namely the "salary" of caring and mutually acknowledging and fostering each others' personal significance and meaning. It is the quality of our relationships that makes us feel significant and creates our motivation "to come to the job." If we treat each other as traditional employees in an organization, in a matter of weeks our network will "sink" and all envisaged "products" will be gone. Erich Fromm wrote about to be as opposed to have. To be means nurturing relationships, and to have would mean to focus on "products." We need to prioritize being, because otherwise we will not have anything.
A forest grows in silence; this process lacks dramatic media glamour. Still, only an intact rain forest can carry a diverse fauna and flora. Therefore, our first task is to nurture our relationships. The next task is to use our network as a platform for our creativity (in order to give life to wonderful birds, flowers and medicinal plants so-to-speak) and then to search for synergy and support from others for our ideas. From that point onwards, specific projects can emerge. Bert, for example, has worked during the past three months on our Special Issue "History and Humiliation" for the journal Social Alternatives. Or, in our Interventions Agenda, people have "adopted" projects and made mirror pages on their servers (for example our Dignity Beyond the Human World project).
There must be space for flow, flux, and flexibility, and for individual freedom. Since people do not come together because of a salary, but voluntarily, the highest priority must be given to nurturing the maximum quality of relationships within the network, to its cohesion, mutual trust and connection, because without that, no synergy, no creativity will emerge. Most traditional "disciplining" and planning methodologies are obsolete (many do not even work in more traditional contexts). And many traditional in-group communication styles are rather destructive and divisive than constructive.
Our conferences and workshops are both means and "products." They offer the opportunity to meet and find points of synergy for joint projects, on one side, and on the other side, the discussions themselves represent a "product." They stimulate thinking and analysis around the topics of dignity (and humiliation as its violation) and related issues.
In order to build constructive and strong relationships in our network, I think, one insight is particularly important, namely that we may humiliate each other, even if we do not intend it. At our Public Event, I told the story of me being thrown out of the car in the middle of nowhere in the north of Norway by my partner. I was not aware that I had humiliated him and was flabbergasted at his fierce action. I did not see that he re-acted to what he perceived as me hurting him. It took me years to understand what had happened. I told this story in order to make the point that our first task in such situations is to refrain from judging ("he is stupid or evil"), but to acknowledge that something significant has happened and that we might have caused it, albeit involuntarily. Merely discounting such situations does not carry far; I could not ignore sitting in the middle of nowhere, alone, for example. Or, the world cannot merely discount terrorism as "stupid." We have to engage, find out what happened, as "stupid" or misconstrued as it might seem from outside.
The point is that there is pain. Humiliation is about pain. A patient who comes to the doctor indicating that she suffers from pain needs to be acknowledged. The doctor cannot just send her away and single-handedly decide that she ought not to feel pain and that her suffering in some way is "wrong." After acknowledging the fact of pain, the next step for the doctor is diagnosis and therapy. Often, misunderstandings lie at the heart of cases of unintended humiliation. For therapy, they need to be clarified. Some patients cling to pain to get secondary advantages; Margalit (2002, in The Ethics of Memory) describes how some people hold on to the "right" to retaliate qua clinging to feelings of humiliation. As for therapy, they need to be helped to find another way into the future. Others are haughty. As I said in one of my presentations, some feel entitled to be first and feel humiliated by such innocent rules as red traffic lights. As for therapy, they need to learn to be more humble. Then there are those, like my partner, who suffer from feeling inferior. In their case, therapy would mean that they gain more confidence which then would diminish their proneness to feeling humiliated. In all cases, the point is to go beyond one's own perspective, acknowledge that others have other perspectives, and for "therapy," to attempt to build bridges.
In our netwok, we aim at building an alternative universe, where we connect with each other in mutual respect and nurturing. As for organizational structures, for that aim, we need to develop new structures and institutions, not necessarily follow old established approaches. We need to define new action for a new world and be careful with merely re-acting to the old world, as smart as such re-action might look like at a first glance. This means that we proceed slower and perhaps sometimes with less funding (except for certain clearly defined sub-projects), however, creativity needs open space and time to evolve. It cannot and should not be pressed into narrow forms prematurely (see what Ray and Anderson write about the inappropriateness of "expert" approaches).
11.01.2006, Azza Karam kindly wrote:
... what if we were to say that those who humiliate others, knowingly/intentionally, are those who do not love themselves, let alone others. If you love yourself, and self exists as part of - if not because of - other, then by implication you are capable of loving others.
If you love others as you do yourself, you would not inflict pain and suffering (which is what humiliation ultimately is, no?).
Love is one of the most abused concepts in human history. It has become so over-commercialised, that it has been confused with lust, with possessiveness, with sexual attraction, with temporary feelings of intimacy and/or closeness, etc.. Yet, it is basically, in my humble opinion, the capacity to open your heart and your mind to ALL emotions around you. It is the feeling that conquers pain, conquers fear, conquers envy, greed, worry, etc. It is the key to knowing one's self and treating others as we would treat ourselves. Those of us who love, leave the many doors of our hearts and minds open in the darkest - and most sinister - of nights.
What else....? Love is the capacity to be hurt, and yet the strength to refrain from inflicting hurt back; to be scarred and yet never undertake to scar; and to love precisely those who demonstrate the most hostility, i.e. to let the fountains of care flow so powerfully at any and all times. For love to be love, it is to be, above all, healing.
Plans for Action
Costa Rica
Our 7th Annual Conference of Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies, will kindly be convened and organised by Victoria C. Fontan in September 6-9, 2006, in San Jose, Costa Rica.
Book on Violent Conflict and Humiliation
Victoria C. Fontan has kindly taken upon her the task of developing an edited book on Violent Conflict and Humiliation (with the help of Linda Hartling, Arie Nadler, and Evelin Lindner) with the contributions of the participants of our Workshops on Humiliation and Violent Conflict in 2004 and 2005 in NY. Victoria reported on the progress of this project. Victoria is the Director of the International Peace Studies Program at the United Nations University for Peace in San Jose, Costa Rica, since 2005. As a Fellow to the Iraq Project at the CICR in Columbia University, Victoria is in charge of developing a permanent Conflict Resolution curriculum in northern Iraqi universities.
Business
Emmanuel Ndahimana led an initiative, in the "Open Space" section of our conference in Berlin, to build a business branch for Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies, in cooperation with Linda Hartling, Rick Slaven, and Victoria Fontan.
Prior to our "Open Space" activity, Emmanuel shared with me his ideas of a business-oriented application of HumanDHS's ideas. I encouraged him to propose this topic in the Open Space. His ideas are in line with long-term plans by HumanDHS. HumanDHS wishes to build bridges between academia and practice, with the corporate world as important player. Since 1995, I am part of a network of consultants to the corporate sector in Norway, please see also Ragnhild Grødal. In 2001, Evelin has developed a project entitled Humiliation, Human Rights and Global Corporate Responsibility. In HumanDHS's Global Advisory Board, we have several members, who are building bridges with the corporate sector, please see, for example, apart from Ragnhild Grødal, also Heidi von Weltzien Høivik, See also our World Business for Equal Dignity project in our Intervention Agenda. Several other projects in our Intervention Agenda aim at using business approaches to fund our research, please see our Interventions page and, among others, our World Clothes for Equal Dignity project, World Architecture for Equal Dignity project, World Art for Equal Dignity project, World Furniture for Equal Dignity project, or our World Design for Equal Dignity project.
Subsequently, Ragnhild Grødal became more involved, together with Espen Sivertsen, and, in November 2005, also Jody Weiss. She proposes to start "small" and kindly offers to develop a plan for a T-shirt for HumanDHS.
Research
I had a meeting at the United Nations University in Tokyo (UNU) on July 21, 2004 and subsequently prepared a proposal for an edited book on humiliation. I went through the HumanDHS's Global Advisory Board's members list and envisaged what each member of the Board would be able to contribute as conceptual chapter.
After my second meeting at UNU (March 3, 2005), HumanDHS was encouraged to build a larger empirical approach, and upon discussing with Paul, I sent out a call for young scholars. Thanks to the support of our Global Advisory Board, the response was very rich. I collected and selected the incoming replies and built two proposals for edited books (Terrorism & Humiliation, and Refugees & Humiliation) with an introduction. The edited-books are envisaged to entail two parts: the first part is intended to contain conceptual chapters written by senior experts versed in the topic of humiliation, and the second part comprises case studies by faculty members who guide research by younger scholars (transdisciplinary, from all parts of the world, gender-balanced).
In our Berlin conference in September, our Refugees & Humiliation project grew to 21 sub-projects by 21 researcher teams. Our Terrorism & Humiliation project has now 9 sub-projects.
In my discussions in Norway in October 2005, I was encouraged to go ahead independent of UNU support. I was encouraged to make sure that our research results are first published in journals, with Special Issues as optimal solution, and not in edited books. I was made aware that edited books are not read and quoted widely.
Alan B. Slifka proposed, in a meeting in December 2005, that we build a third project, namely Minorities & Humiliation, with a focus on public policy planning. He suggests that governments might be interested in funding such a project. He suggests studying minorities such as the Arab Israelis in Israel, the Tamils in Sri Lanka, the Catholic in Northern Ireland, the Algerians in France, the Afro-Americans in the US, the Aborigines in Australia, the Maoris in New Zealand, and the Muslims in Russia.
E-Journal
Maggie O'Neill and Bertram Wyatt-Brown both have connections with journal publishers, Maggie with Sage and Bert with Johns Hopkins. Both kindly offer to ask about the conditions of having a journal/ejournal!
28.12.2005, Amy Hudnall kindly adds:
Reading through the newsletter I was excited about the many ideas that all of you garnered. If you are willing to accept (using Evelin's metaphor) some outside, symbiotic plants to join your rain forest, I would like to offer some additional help if you might find use of it. In terms of the e-journal idea, if your contact with Sage and John Hopkins don'tt bear fruit I worked with Kate Caras at Indiana University Press, who is now the Director of Electronic and Serials Publishing for their journals. I was the managing editor of the _NWSA Journal_, a feminist journal with IU Press and worked with them in one guise or another through NWSA Journal for six years. She may provide another contact.
30.12.2005, Amy Hudnall kindly adds:
Maggie, Evelin, Bertram, et al,
[...]
The whole concept is very exciting. I can't wait to see it come to life.(I might add that I am also in the process of publishing a book that is sort of a dummy's guide to starting and running an academic journal, even though I am sure your combined knowledge has all that is in the book and more already, you might find some of it helpful if you are interested.)
[...]
All the best,
Amy
Special Issue on "History and Humiliation"
Ralph Summy kindly offered us to publish a Special Issue on "History and Humiliation" in his journal Social Alternatives.
Bertram Wyatt-Brown has kindly taken upon him the task of developing this Special Issue. Bertram Wyatt-Brown has an extensive background in Southern history and is very au fait with the South's humiliation, both before and after the Civil War. His mentor C. Van Woodward is one of the great historians of our time.
Education
At our Berlin conference in September, Donald Klein was delighted to hear aobut Victoria's activities with regard to a "Tool Kit," drawing upon workshops and seminars.
At the end of our NY workshop, I spoke with Margaret Tyndall, President of NTL Institute for Applied Behavioral Science. She kindly offers to explore e-learning software for our websites, and share her findings with us.
Email List
The idea was aired, in our Berlin conference, that it would be beneficial to have a button on our website, where people could click who wish to be on our email list. Martin Stahl, who built our website initially, is currently thinking about how to do it.
Funding and Legal Status
• At our Berlin conference in September, the idea was aired that it would be beneficial to have a possibilty on our internet site for interested people to click and provide financial support to HumanDHS. This is now avaliable! Please see our new contributions page!
With the most generous help of Nitza Escalera and Boucard (Fordham University) and Linda Hartling and Rick Slaven, we succeeded in creating a non-for-profit organization in NY!
For the US, all contributions to Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies are now tax deductible as allowable by law. If anybody wishes to make a contribution, he or she can send it to:
HumanDHS
5 Rock Street
Framingham, MA 01702
USA
Checks can be made out to "HumanDHS".
The tax-free number for our "DOMESTIC NOT-FOR-PROFIT CORPORATION" is "02-076-0075."
In Berlin, Victoria proposed that she could oversee an account for HumanDHS in Costa Rica and Paul suggested the same for Dublin.
Nitza and her students kindly offer to investigate how a global network such as ours can achieve tax excempt status not just in the US, but also in other parts of the world.
We envisage to build a scholarship program for doctoral researchers from less privileged parts of the world, who wish to work on the topics related to dignity / humiliation. At the moment, we need to create funding for our research, for example, for our Terrorism & Humiliation, and Refugees & Humiliation projects and for scholarships for other doctoral projects. We need also to build a funding base for our entire network. Furthermore, we would need a person for administrative work, who can write applications for more, external research funding. We also wish to build up funds for our conferences, so that people can attend who otherwise do not have the means.
Peter Max offers us, very kindly, to paint portraits and let the payment (15,000-30,000 USD) go to HumanDHS!
We wish to invite some of our Intervention projects, such as our World Clothes for Equal Dignity project, to contribute to creating funding for our work. Furthermore, the new business branch envisaged by Emmanuel, Linda and Rick, will need to be linked to our non-for-profit segments.
• As to the need to have a fund-raiser, Andrea Bartoli (in November 2005) recommends to refrain from hiring a person for fund-raising. He described how he experienced that a problem of credibility is easily arising that needs to be taken very seriously.
In the light of Andrea's advice, the need might rather be for administrative support. Andrea made me aware of a program in the US, that allows for students to be involved. Tom Glaisyer explains that it is the Federal Work-study program that "tops up" any payment to a student doing work at the University. It is limited to a certain maximum $4 and hours per full-time student per semester and there must be some limitations in what the work is but from what I know it is used fairly extensively.
• In Berlin and in NY, we discussed other ways of building a financial basis for our work, such as membership models and dues.
I personally react rather aversive when organisations approach me with "average" methods for obtaining funds. I agree with Paul Ray and Sherry Ruth Anderson (2000, see also our Mission Statement and Rationale for our Intervention Agenda). They warn people like us, who wish to break new ground (Ray and Anderson coined the term "Cultural Creatives"), against turning to "experts" for "expert" approaches such as direct mail marketing, public relations, advertising, or infomercials made to broadcast on cable TV. Ray and Anderson ask why Cultural Creatives might be tempted to do that and explain: "Because they feel helpless. Because as children of Modernism, they turn things over to experts, who say, 'This is how it's done. You want to reach a lot of people? Then do it this way.' At that moment, the automatism of modern culture takes over. The process is a form of unconsciousness, running on rails and following standard procedures."
I very much resonate with Ray and Anderson as to their analysis of the effect of traditional "expert" approaches: "How does this affect Cultural Creatives who receive the direct mail? The same way they've been affected since the 1970s, when national good cause sent them direct mail soliciting contributions. Too many direct mail pieces from good causes produce a vague sense of betrayal. Whatever initial connection or interest they felt slowly diminishes, along with the hope that what they care about will be addressed honestly. The genuine connection, the sense of being recognised as a member of a shared community, is lost" (this text is taken from Paul Ray and Sherry Ruth Anderson, The Cultural Creatives: How 50 Million People Are Changing the World, New York, NY: Three Rivers Press, 2000, pages 233-234, with their kind permission).
We need to foster a genuine connection with our supporters, a sense of being recognised as a member of a shared community. We need to gain trust. Our website, our publications, and our conferences are all part of this process.
Linda Hartling kindly added (21st September 2005):
I particularly appreciated your observations related to gaining wider
support: "We need to foster a genuine connection with our supporters, a sense of being recognised as a member of a shared community." This so true. I don't think we want to gain support in conventional, fundraising ways; we want to create community.
I responded (6th October 2005):
I personally feel humiliated, demeaned, even dehumanised when I witness that relationships are framed in too utilitarian ways à la "you give me money and I love you." Some days ago, I discussed this with Reidar Ommundsen, my academic advisor for my doctorate that I defended in 2001 in Oslo. We mused over the possible results, e.g. that sex with our partners should be paid for by the health insurance, if we followed this logic: "You give me sex and thus health, and you get paid by my health insurance...." Reidar was reflecting on how social psychology would conceptualize my way of depending on a global network of friends and we agreed that the literature of "supportive relationships" is too utilitarian. I personally do NOT foreground SUPPORT from my friends. I guess, if I did that, there would be none of that. I wish to forge deep mutual relationships that are independent of support. Support is secondary, a by-product of a deeper, broader, and more existential relationship.
There is an interesting link from this discussion to economy. During my years in Egypt, I used to study the bazar. Tourists from Europe or America would not understand that bargaining in Egypt does not have money (or the price of items) at its core, but relationship. The tourists who came, often displayed a kind of tunnel vision with money at the centre of their focus, while Egyptians pitied them for their lack of humanity. Many Egyptians are master psychologists, trained already as children, and, when tourists entered their shops, the Egyptian shop owners often attempted to link up with the entire person visiting their shop, not just their portemonnaies. It was fascinating to observe the unfolding situation, which usually exposed the relational immaturity and lack of skill on the part of the tourists and showed the rich psychological knowledge-base that the Egyptian custom of relationship-building entails. Thus, individualistic monetary societies, with all their advantages, may foster weak relational skills, a tendency that I, in my personal life, try to counter.
Background Reflections
Leadership
Selfless Leadership (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
We wish to encourage "selfless leadership" and aim at avoiding autocratic "big-ego" styles in our group. Please see also our Who We Are page, our Newsletter 3 and our description of how our name evolved.
Problems with Authority (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
Traditional organisations are often structured in a top-down fashion of "leaders" and "followers." Typically, "followers," when they detect "shortcomings" in the organisation, expect leaders to rectify these shortcomings. They build up frustration and even aggression when this does not happen. Some create "factions" behind the back of the leaders of the group and some thrive on opposition to authority. Many a group of volunteers has been torn apart by such processes - particularly those members who wish to "change the world" and derive their motivation from anger risk venting this anger on their own leaders and colleagues.
In our network, we wish to develop different dynamics. Leadership in our group is not only selfless but also dispersed. Whoever takes up leadership positions in our network does not wish to confine our work through their personal limitations. We encourage all our members to formulate shortcomings not as shortcomings, but as challenges and reasons to step in and take over the tasks that are required to improve the situation.
For example, Evelin states: "I have personal limitations. I do not wish to have these limitations restrict our work. I invite everybody who sees room for improvement to step in and take over the tasks that are necessary to bring about those improvements."Linda Hartling kindly added (September 21, 2005):
I appreciated your discussion of leadership and expertise. This year, I think we moved closer to creating a sense of "fluid leadership and expertise" within the group. I believe this encourages people to engage in the meeting as partners and co-creators of the experience. Furthermore, I think this allows more people to share their special knowledge and experience with "relational confidence," confidence that others are encouraging and supporting their full participation.
I added (December 18, 2005):
I feel that we have made even greater progress in our NY workshop.
Space for Creativity (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
Tackling frustration in constructive ways is perhaps the most difficult and most central skill necessary for the high-quality functioning of groups like ours. The most destructive way to manage frustration is to project it on friends and other group members. Approaches in the spirit of the following sentence are destructive: "Thank you for what you are contributing, however, what you give is not enough, you ought to give more."
Our network would seize to exist within a couple of weeks, if we were to wrap our being-together and our mutual interactions in sullen accusations, never thanking without a hitch, always expecting more. It is an irony that often, in groups such as ours, there is a tendency to exempt from accusations those people who do not help, while those who do help, are exposed to blame that they do not help enough.
I would like to encourage all members of our network to convey heartfelt gratitude for whatever support is offered to our work, without lamenting over what we do not receive and without accusing those who give of not giving enough. Every relationship, from marriage to child-parents relationships to group cohesion, can be destroyed with a "never-enough strategy." An atmosphere of fear is created that strangulates joy and creativity.
We wish to forge an open atmosphere, where everybody can contribute with what comes from their hearts, in freedom, without pressure. If a member of our group does not contribute with anything for 10 years and then with a great and unexpected idea which nobody even knew could be asked for - this is wonderful! Let us nurture space for breathing, space for the new, and not predefine all our needs - we might need something we do not yet know about. Always asking for specifics - which we sometimes need to do - narrows the space of opportunities prematurely. We wish to foster an atmosphere of freedom and mutual encouragement for creativity and out-of-the-box ideas, not narrow guilt-ridden hierarchies. Please see our Call for Creativity.11.01.2006, Linda Hartling wrote:
Dearest Evelin, Something you might be interest in on organizational work.
Although I am NOT a fan of "corporations," the comments seem relevant to
organizations in general....Much love, Linda
Organization as Orchestra
11.01.2006, Linda Hartling kindly wrote:
I have been meaning to send you a few words about organizations from Peter Drucker's obituary in the Boston Globe, Nov. 12, 2005:
"[referring to today's corporation] It was something new in world
history, different from the 'command and control' methods of organizing labor that had characterized the building of the Pyramids of Napoleon's army or even Henry Ford's army or even Henry Ford's assembly line. ...modern management is different, he said. 'Its task is to make people capable of joint performance, to make their strengths effective and their weaknesses irrelevant,' he said in various ways in his 18 books on the profession of management. ...In a metaphor that he used repeatedly, Mr. Drucker likened the society of organizations to an orchestra. "Each institution has to do its own work the way each instrument in an orchestra plays only its own part. But there is also the score, the community. And only if each individual instrument contributes to the score is there music."
[Drucker wrote the "Concept of the Corporation," the 1946 book that emerged from his two years studying GM.]
Evelin's Financial Situation(already discussed in Newsletter 5)
High expectations were aired as to our financial situation. Please see our Who We Are page for explanations. I have adapted my personal life to the task of building the global HumanDHS network by living as a global citizen, supported by a global network of friends. This entails great personal sacrifices.
Walk the Talk (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
We believe that it is important for all of us to walk the talk. We wish to invite people into our group who are willing and able to promote our mission with humility and in a cooperative relational spirit of mutual support and respect. Competitive and adversarial behavioral styles that draw their strength from dominating and humiliating others have no room in our work. Please see our Index page, our Who We Are page, our Newsletter 1, 2, and 3.
Glass Half Full (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
Related to "walking-the-talk" is the "glass-half-full" approach. We believe that lamenting only drains our energy - lamenting over whatever is "missing" and whatever we have not yet accomplished. Lamenting makes it more difficult to conceptualise what is missing as a challenge, as a next step, which we have to undertake with enthusiasm, motivation and courage in a joint effort.
The perspective of "appreciative inquiry" is therefore a useful frame of our work. Our HumanDHS efforts are not just about the work we do together, but also about HOW WE WORK TOGETHER. Please read An Appreciative Frame: Beginning a Dialogue on Human Dignity and Humiliation, that Linda has written for us in 2005.
Linda Hartling kindly added (September 21, 2005):
Although the "glass is half full" view is far more hopeful, I have some appreciation for the "glass half empty" view because, at times, this view is very practical. It can help us see difficult realities and keep our feet on the ground. The "glass half empty" perspective can bring to the forefront obstacles that could derail our efforts. Consequently, I am glad to have a few people who can bring "glass half empty" concerns to our attention, BUT they need to be people who can move beyond lamenting and help us take action. Perhaps "glass half empty" view is a problem when people get stuck in lamenting, rather than moving toward action???
I responded (September 22, 2005):
And I can't agree more with what you write, dearest Linda!
Yes, I believe it is the lamenting that is destructive - not the clear analysis of whatever risks or shortcomings there might be. Lamenting is like throwing the energy out of the window that one needs to address what one laments about. I have observed that networks and groups often have members who invest lots of energy in lamenting - without turning the observed shortcomings into a motivation to develop positive action: Lamenting as main occupation so-to-speak, as a way to bond with other "lamenters," as a way to build alternative "power-bases" in the network rather than action that benefits the whole group, as a way to live out unresolved problems with authority, or a way to maintain a victim-identity in the face of adversity.
I am searching for caring ways to invite "lamenters" into more constructive ways of applying their analysis. This topic links up to the themes of leadership, authority, and also the two theories of intelligence that we discussed as well (see newsletter 5 for an explanation). I believe that people with a mastery orientation also tend to have a constructive non-lamenting action orientation. To my observation, people with ego-oriented performance goals tend to cover up for shortcomings as long as they are their own, and engage in lamenting when shortcomings of others are at stake.
Old Methods (already discussed in Newsletter 5)
May I repeat part of what I already addressed earlier, namely HOW we should promote our work. Please see our Mission Statement and Rationale for our Intervention Agenda for a discussion of methods that networks like us, who wish to break new ground (Ray and Anderson coined the term "Cultural Creatives") may apply.
"The way it's done by experts" might be counterproductive for promoting the goals of groups such as HumanDHS. Old methods do not work for new goals and values. People being addressed with slick advertising in direct mail may lose interest in the contents of such advertising. "The genuine connection, the sense of being recognized as a member of a shared community, is lost" (Ray and Anderson, 2000, p. 234).
We need to foster a genuine connection with our supporters, a sense of being recognised as a member of a shared community. We need to gain trust. Our website, our publications, and our conferences are all part of this process.
Linda Hartling kindly adds (21st September 2005):
I particularly appreciated your observations related to gaining wider support: "We need to foster a genuine connection with our supporters, a sense of being recognised as a member of a shared community." This so true. I don't think we want to gain support in conventional, fundraising ways; we want to create community.
The Need for Wisdom
I personally am very aware of the shortness of life, every minute. I do not wish to live my life in pettiness. I am not happy if the only thing I am asked to think about is the "color of my car," particularly not while millions of human beings do not even have a minimum of livelihood. I wish to live in Don's broad and deep world of significance and meaning. Donald Klein moved us all deeply on Friday morning. He showed us how to live in awe and wonderment.
I wish to thank our three octogenarians for moving us all and bringing us together in caring generosity. We need your wisdom, dear Mort, David and Don! Your example is extremely encouraging. I personally draw my dedication for my work from thinking of the courageous and insightful life-work of Morton Deutsch. And I remember David Hamburg sharing with me how he made Mikhail Gorbachev aware that only South Africa would survive in case of a nuclear exchange between the Soviet Union and the United States.
Shame, Humiliation, and Humility
by Noel Mordana
Henrik Wergeland's poem Christmas Eve That Changed the Norwegian Constitution
by Kjell Skyllstad
Please see http://www.vetssweatshop.net/poem1.htm
A Journey through Song: The Way of the Human Voice
Neil Ryan Walsh focused our minds and prepared us for the talks that followed at the Public Event of our workshop with three a capella songs that spoke to the topic of our workshop by expressing respect for cultural diversity (altogether 6 minutes).
Reactions Subsequent to Our Workshop
(with the authors' permission; listed chronologically)
25.12.2005, Don C. Klein sent us his New Years letter!
Looking to the Past, Looking to the Future, New Years Greetings: 2006!
Please see here The Humiliation Dynamic: Looking to the Past and Future, the paper that Don presented at the 2005 Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict, Columbia University, New York, December 15-16, 2005.23.12.2005, Annette A. Engler kindly wrote:
Dearest Evelin, […] As I reflect on my experience, I think back on the words of Elie Wiesel who once said "The fate of humanity is not sealed...there is always hope" this is what I felt throughout this very moving workshop on humiliation. Each voice that was spoken in the circle of discussion seem to echo in unison as each hand was extended outward to one another in hope of achieving a common goal.
I immediately felt a sense of warmth in the gathering and was especially moved by the film which displayed an example of humiliation and shame which seemed humanly inescapable. Yet it was the message on humility that I found the most touching as it seemed to allow one to reach up and reach down at the same time. It was an honor to view a glimpse of how our future will change as a result of this endearing work. […]
May your holiday's and New Year be filled with cheer! Always, Annette
24.12.2005, Jean B Ndayizigiye kindly wrote:
Dear participants at the 2005 workshop on humiliation and human dignity!
It was a pleasure to meet all of you last week. I also want to express you my great appreciation and admiration for your inputs. Thank you for your inspiration.
I send to you and all your families my warm greetings and best wishes of good health, peace and joy during this Christmas season and New year 2006. May these
Christmas and New Year touch yor heart the way you touch the hearts of all those who are lucky enough to know you. Blessings, Jean B. Ndayizigiye, Eastern Mennonite University
27.12.2005, Howard Zehr kindly wrote:
I came away from the meeting with an increased appreciation for the importance of our themes: humiliation and honor, respect and disrespect. At the same time, I was impressed at how much work needs to be done. The conference provided an opportunity to meet and hear from other people interested in these themes and provided motivation for me to keep working on them.
Howard
27.12.2005, Judit Révész kindly wrote:
Dear Participants of our New York Workshop 2005!
After participating in the public event, sharing a dinner with some of you and following everything virtually (thank to Evelin's endless postings on our website), I felt great appreciation for the 'small big steps' we have already made toward change and I also felt wonderful that I belong to the Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies Network! As I looked around in the Milbank Chapel, I saw many new people and remembered how some of you just clicked for contact us on our website less than a year ago and I appreciated that the Network keeps growing and growing. Looking forward to seeing you all more! All the best, Judit Revesz
28.12.2005, Anie Kalayjian wrote:
Dear Evelin, and all the organizers and participants of the humiliation workshop: Thank you so very much for a wonderful and thought provoking conference. I am sad that I could not join you on Friday, since that is the day I had to give final exam at Fordham. What I liked most the intimacy and the closeness. What I missed was the action orientation was going to happen on Friday, perhaps we will get the summery.
I recommend for the next year to focus on the perpetrator a little more. Perhaps we can have one day designated for survivors and the other day for the perpetrators. I especially needed assistance with the humiliation that the Turkish students were feeling in our dialogue groups, which caused them to withdraw. I welcome your comments on this. In the meantime, have a healthy, peaceful, and meaningful New Year!
With love,
Anie
28.12.2005, Beth Fisher-Yoshida kindly wrote:
I want to share my sincere feelings of admiration for being in the midst of a group as interesting and dedicated as all of you who attended the conference in New York. It is inspiring to hear what you have to say and learn about all of the meaningful work you are doing in the attempt to better understand and eradicate humiliation.
Evelin, thank you for your continuing energy and determination, and of course your globe trotting! You truly bring the world together in a wonderful way.
Happy holidays to all.
Warm regards,
Beth Fisher-Yoshida
ICCCR, Teachers College, Columbia University28.12.2005, Manas M. Ghanem kindly wrote:
Dearest Evelin and all,
It was very nice meeting with all of you! Thank you for participating in our lively conference and for all your wonderful papers and honest concern regarding human dignity and humiliation studies.
I am looking forward to the new year and wish it brings happiness and success to you all. I wish it brings more opportunities for us to meet our goals, and to try and help those who are less fortunate regardless their different identities all over the glob.
Much love and happy new 2006
Manas
28.12.2005, Amy Hudnall kindly wrote:
Dear All,
I am impressed by the amount of work that was accomplished in such a brief period of time. It appears as if it was one of those meetings where everyone walked away feeling incredibly stimulated intellectually and continued to process information and think creatively for days afterward. I am disappointed that my plans to attend fell through. It is all the more impetus for making sure that I am in attendance next year.
Reading through the newsletter I was excited about the many ideas that all of you garnered. If you are willing to accept (using Evelin's metaphor) some outside, symbiotic plants to join your rain forest, I would like to offer some additional help if you might find use of it. In terms of the e-journal idea, if your contact with Sage and John Hopkins don'tt bear fruit I worked with Kate Caras at Indiana University Press, who is now the Director of Electronic and Serials Publishing for their journals. I was the managing editor of the _NWSA Journal_, a feminist journal with IU Press and worked with them in one guise or another through NWSA Journal for six years. She may provide another contact.
In regard to the special issue for _Social Alternatives_, this sounds like a fascinating series of articles. I look forward to hearing more about your progress on this as well as your upcoming book.
Finally, as I read through the closing part of the newsletter--the section on the glass half full/half empty, reconfirming our support for ending cycles of violent humiliation, etc.--I was drawn to make a sweeping review of my personal year. It has been a difficult one for my family and it seems a difficult one for the world. In my work, I was involved with caregivers of tsunami victims, Hurricane Katrina and Rita victims, and victims in Pakistan. We worked with caregivers for people from violent conflicts and torture victims. In all of this it is sometimes difficult to maintain some equanimity. Through the year it felt like I was fighting bureaucracy and for money and time and for peace. And yet it is through the hope and vision of people like you, people who see the light in all the darkness, that humanity continues to exist. This community is one of the personal pieces/peaces that helps me keep going. It is my fervent wish that one day there will be enough light to push away the dark, to pervade the hopelessness and tip the balance, allowing people who might otherwise be unable to support a world of caring support and solutions to believe and see the world in a new perspective. Thank you for all you do to help attain that goal.
29.12.2005, Tonya Hammer kindly wrote:
I just want to express my heartfelt thanks to all the participants for allowing me to be a part of such a meeting. I was truly inspired and challenged by all who presented and spoke. I left the meeting changed.
29.12.2005, Anne M. Wyatt-Brown kindly wrote:
Dear Evelin,
Ever since the conference I have seen evidence of humiliation all over the place. As a friend of Bert told him, this is an area that needs to be developed. The presentations were uniformly good. One thing that impressed me was that most people stuck to the time they were given. That is most unusual and a trait that should be encouraged. Meeting so many like-minded people was a treat as well.
Thank you for organizing and for all the conferees for coming.
Anne Wyatt-Brown29.12.2005, Zahid Shahab Ahmed kindly wrote:
Dear Evelin,
Dear HDHS workshop participants,
Hola!
It was a matter of great honor and pleasure for me to be with you in our workshop on conflict and humiliation in NY. You were are really very impressive that helped me to learn maximum from discussions and presentations, therefore I will always be looking forward for the opportunities to see you all again.
With best wishes,
Zahid Shahab Ahmed
Costa Rica
29.12.2005, Maggie O'Neill kindly wrote:
Hi Evelin and Linda
it was FANTASTIC to meet with you and take part in the workshop.
I will of course help with the research leadership dimension and I think a research team is a very good idea so that the role can be shared. It would be so good to have a fundraiser post at some point in the future that is in keeping with the ethos of the network. On the issue of the ethos my respect for managing to develop and maintain this approach.
warmest regards
Maggie
02.01.2006, Sophie Schaarschmidt kindly wrote:
Dearest Evelin!
Thank you for your lovely email! I was happy to receive it! [...] It also has been a highlight for Munir and me to meet you, Evelin. Your work and contribution is very important, and with your enthousiasm and convincing hard work you managed to get so many people interested in the topic of humiliation. This is just amazing!
It's lovely that you posted the reactions for the award on the website of humiliationstudies, including mine. Thank you! It's amirable how transparent you keep the website for us and always keep us well-informed - what a great work!
Also, thank you so much for your personal reply to my emails. I know that you're receiving hundreds of mails every day, and you always take time for every single person and write some kind words. This is wonderful - thank you!
In the attachment I'm sending some thoughts about the workshop in NY, as an evaluation. It contains my impressions, and some practical ideas for the next workshops including a description of the open-space technology as I got to know it. It would be great if you could also forward the evaluation to Linda and anyone else interested. Thank you!
[...]
I wish you a very great day, dear Evelin.
Winter greetings - but warm ones!
Sophie
Some thoughts about evaluating the NY workshop of the HumanDHS-network.
Short description of the workshop:
The 2-day workshop was very interesting. The number of people was around 60 which was a good number of people. You could get to know one another easily. The introduction round was very useful for this reason, plus it "broke the ice" between the participants. The name badges were also helpful.
The workshop was constituted of 3 round table sessions, each in 2 parts. The number of presentations per part varied from 5 to 8. The presentations were about 10 min each, and a discussion of about half an hour followed the presentations. There were 3 longer presentations, one by Evelin Lindner, one by Donald Klein and one by Morton Deutsch. These were public and framed by some shorter presentations by three of the participants, fun stories and some musical pieces.
There were also two book presentations. The first book presented by Stephanie Heuer was a children's book about the humiliating experience of exclusion "I feel like nobody when. I feel like somebody when." The second book presented by Grace Feuerverger called "Oasis of Dreams" described a coexistence project in Israel where Jews and Palestinians try to live, learn and work peacefully with each other.
The workshop was very well organized. There was good technical equipment and a catering service cared for our well-being with delicious sandwiches, fruit and drinks. The location of the workshop was suitable, in the beautiful rooms of the Teacher's College at Columbia University .
The conference was concluded by an evaluation round and a Norwegian Christmas story told by Kjell Skyllstad.
Personal impressions:
My motivation to participate in the workshop came forth from my interest in the topic of humiliation and the destructive forces of the pride-shame dynamics as clarified by Thomas Scheff and others. I am a doctorate student, preparing a research project on the feelings of pride and shame in the self-presentations of Israeli and Palestinian youth in interaction with each other on an internet forum and the possible (negative?) impact of those feelings on conflict resolution processes.
My expectation for the workshop was to learn more about humiliation, how it is linked to feelings of shame, pride, guilt, fear, rage and others, and what the behavioural consequences of experiences of humiliation are and how they could be positively changed. A second expectation was to meet people who are doing research about humiliation or/and connected notions and to engage into discussions on the subject and about my research proposal.
My expectations were partially met. It was great to meet a great number of people who are very interested in the concept of humiliation and are engaged in doing research about it, or/and try to implement strategies of positive change into society. It was also impressive to hear about so many different projects that are taking place in the theoretical and practical fields. What I thought was a pity was that there were actually too many presentations in a very short time so that the discussions could not evolve in full depth. The time for the presentations and discussions was very limited. Sometimes I wished that I could concentrate on one topic more and "cancel" others for that reason.
Suggestions for a following workshop:
What I would suggest for a following workshop (and this is my very personal view) is to create discussion forums as open choices. The open space technology as I know it, and as it is used mainly in the field of training involves participants in a unique way. The first step is like an open brainstorm session involving all participants. In this session, participants can come up with a topic that they want to (present and) discuss. All topics are written down and similar topics might be combined into one topic. This process can happen either beforehand via email or a web-forum or at the workshop on a blackboard. Once the discussion topics are defined the person that proposed a certain topic would announce a time and a space when and where the topic will be discussed. In a full day of open-space, up to 50 topics could be discussed. People are free to join and leave a discussion. As a metaphor, people are like bees flying from one topic to another, participating in a discussion as long as it feeds their interest and taking the honey from it as well as contributing to it, and leaving the discussion when it takes a turn into a direction that they are less interested in or when they wish to participate in other discussions on other topics as well. Normally people take part in 3 to 10 discussions a day. Therefore, people are free to select the topics they are interested in and move to other discussions, as listener or both, listener and contributor. Each discussion group is also free in putting their time frame, and scheduling breaks. Of course, there should be a time frame for the open-space session, let's say it would take place from 1pm to 5pm in the afternoon. Yet, discussion groups can schedule their space (location), time frame (a discussion could last half an hour or three hours: as much as it takes to explore the issue) and breaks themselves. The only condition is that the discussion topic, its location and starting time will be announced (or written down on a public board) so that all participants know when which subject will be discussed where.
I participated twice in such an open-space session and I was very much impressed by its power and evolving possibilities. Not only were people more active, excited and engaged, taking little breaks, but also people felt they could gain and contribute most in this process. They felt they were free to choose which discussions to engage in, and it was an easy way to make contacts with those people interested and engaged in topics similar to one's own. By being able to set an own time frame discussions were deeper than usual, and by participants moving from one topic to another, joining (and making new contributions) or leaving a discussion the discussions stayed vivid and interesting, and many perspectives could be shared. At the end of a discussion each group filled in an A4 page which contained the title of the discussion group, a list of the names of the people who contributed in the discussion, and a summary of what was discussed (the main stances). All the discussion summaries can be combined to a book at the end of the conference providing people with a tremendous treasure of topics and insights.
Another advantage of the open-space technology (as I experienced it) is that people stay "fresh" in the workshop. The discussion excites and revives people and forms a good basis for getting to know each other and going on with the discussions at a later time in the workshop (e.g. during lunch).
It might be worthy to try the open-space technology in a HumanDHS workshop meeting substituting the round table sessions, or in addition to them. The only difficulty I'm aware of might be that we would need many spaces (rooms) where the discussion groups could spread for their discussions.
I stop here since I've already written an essay. I want to thank you, Evelin, and you, Linda, very much for your effort to make the previous workshop as successful as it was! I hope to see you again in the next meeting. If I can contribute to it in any way please let me know!
Good luck for your work in 2006!
Yours warmly,
Sophie Schaarschmidt
06.01.2006, Grace Feuerverger kindly wrote:
Please let me say that the workshop was one of the most beautiful experiences of my professional life and I will remember it fondly. Not only was it intellectually stimulating but it was so authentic and soulful! That is definitely because of you and the kind of people that you bring together. I am honoured to be part of the group. And I look forward to the next workshop already!!
May 2006 bring us all good health, peace and joy.
I look forward to hearing from you when you get a chance, my dear.
With love and many hugs,
Grace
05 09.01.2006, Grace Feuerverger kindly added:
May I also add to my comments that what made this workshop so special for me was its power to bring the personal and professional life together for us, making it a holistic, "grassroots" endeavour. A 'safe' place was created which allowed me (and I think all of us) to speak from the heart, and in this way we created "community" in Martin Buber's terms. This kind of "conference" is so rare. It affirms our selfhood and therefore allows for human dignity to blossom, which is exactly the goal in our own work with others. What a gift it was that we could do it for ourselves too.
May2006 bring us the blessings of good health and peace in our homes, our communities and in the world.
Love and many, many hugs,
Grace
09.01.2006, Dan Shapiro kindly wrote:
Evelin
Though I was not able to attend the workshop in person, please trust that I was there in spirit. The theme of the workshop is essential. Of the emotions that lead to violent conflict, humiliation certainly ranks high among them.
And it is not enough to commiserate about the amount of violence and humiliation in our world. Just as those who humiliate often do so systematically, there needs to be a countervailing, systematic approach to reducing humiliation. That is, as I see it, one of the major values of the program you have spearheaded at Columbia, and I support and applaud that work and am proud to be a part of it!
Im very happy to hear that the workshop went well.
Best wishes,
Dan
09.01.2006, Dr. Myra Mendible kindly wrote:
To the group:
Thank you all for welcoming me so graciously, for sharing your insights, for expressing and engaging ideas with sincerity and enthusiasm, and most of all - for the important work you do! I'm truly grateful to be a part of this wonderful group of people!
Myra
10.01.2006, Mercedes Gonzales-Jauregui kindly wrote:
Dear Evelin, I wish to thank you for your kind invitation to participate on the 2005 Workshop on Humiliation and Violent Conflict held in New York City. One of the most interesting meetings I have participated indeed. It was very well-organized, high quality of debates, great lectures and it raised many thoughts than will certainly improve our respective works. I was particularly impressed by the commitment that participants - coming from all over the world - shown against humiliation. It also was a great chance for sharing experiences and networking. I am looking forward to attending the next workshop!!!
Mercedes
from San José, Costa Rica
11.01.2006, Judy Kuriansky kindly wrote:
The conference was excellent and eye-opening, to hear different perspectives of conflict, centering on the important dynamic of humiliation. Besides the content, the interaction and sharing amongst the participants was inspiring and invaluable.
Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D. Columbia University Teachers College
11.01.2006, Azza Karam kindly wrote:
... what if we were to say that those who humiliate others, knowingly/intentionally, are those who do not love themselves, let alone others. If you love yourself, and self exists as part of - if not because of - other, then by implication you are capable of loving others.
If you love others as you do yourself, you would not inflict pain and suffering (which is what humiliation ultimately is, no?).
Love is one of the most abused concepts in human history. It has become so over-commercialised, that it has been confused with lust, with possessiveness, with sexual attraction, with temporary feelings of intimacy and/or closeness, etc.. Yet, it is basically, in my humble opinion, the capacity to open your heart and your mind to ALL emotions around you. It is the feeling that conquers pain, conquers fear, conquers envy, greed, worry, etc. It is the key to knowing one's self and treating others as we would treat ourselves. Those of us who love, leave the many doors of our hearts and minds open in the darkest - and most sinister - of nights.
What else....? Love is the capacity to be hurt, and yet the strength to refrain from inflicting hurt back; to be scarred and yet never undertake to scar; and to love precisely those who demonstrate the most hostility, i.e. to let the fountains of care flow so powerfully at any and all times. For love to be love, it is to be, above all, healing.
18/01/2006, Stephanie Heuer kindly wrote:
Dear NewYork Participants:
It was a great pleasure to meet you all and hear your inspiring stories, ideas, and see your work in motion. These type of conferences always seem to sprout new thoughts, and move us along in directions which can and will make a difference. I hope to hear from you and see you at our next meeting in Costa Rica. As already commented by some, I would like to see some action items to be followed up on or more concrete ideas that we can collaborate on, such as the grant writing and fundraising. These issues are very important in this community, and demonstrate that we are a valid organization. People then are willing to not only listen to our ideas and support the research but invest in specified work and worthwhile programs that could make a difference.
Thank you for all your positive feedback.
Best, Stephanie
Author of "I feel like Nobody when.. I feel like Somebody when..."
11.01.2006, Judy Kuriansky kindly wrote:
If all people/s felt respect for self and from others, humiliation would not exist. Yet, all too many people experience a sense of humiliation, and feel victimized by it. Humiliation plays an important role in any conflict. On a microcosm level, such a dynamic can happen inter-personally, meaning between two partners, and on a macrocosm level it can be apparent between the people of different cultures, religions, ethnicities, or backgrounds.
Feeling humiliated leads to dysfunctional behavior - either withdrawal or offensive action towards the party one perceives as humiliating him/her. An important way to stop this progression is for the humiliated person to take responsibility for being humiliated, asking, "What is the source of my feeling humiliated?" Instead of blaming the other, "You humiliated me?" accept responsibility in saying instead, "I feel humiliated" and explore the fears behind this feeling. Do this by asking, "What can I do for myself to avoid feeling this way?" "Why do I feel 'less than' (what has happened in my history/background/experience to lead to this, and how can I deal with that past)?" "What am I afraid is going to happen if others found out what I have done or who I really feel I am?" Take constructive action for oneself (instead of action against the other) to raise your self-esteem, to become what you feel would be respected. You can tell the other that you expect respect but respect can come naturally from actions that demonstrate high self-esteem and extending respect.
Psychodynamically, the syndrome starts with one party feeling shame, an internal sense of being inferior. Feeling humiliated by the other is tied to an internal sense of being ashamed of oneself, harboring something that you are afraid that people would know about you, something you have done that you do not honor yourself (much less that you think others would honor). To deal with this, examine, "What am I ashamed of" Explore the outcome you are afraid of, "What can I do to have a better reputation?" "What image do I fear that people have of me that is less than I would like them to have?" Fill in, "If they only knew about me that I (fill in the blank with some feeling or action), they would not respect/honor/like me."
Humiliation can be deliberate or unintentional. Of course, the person who is humiliating the other has to also change; meaning examining his/her own actions and statements to see whether they are insulting or demeaning. Then, make the effort to refrain from such statements or actions. This involves exploring one's own past to see what experiences may have led to needing to "put another down" or lift oneself up. Often, a person who humiliates another has been a victim, and now is identifying with the aggressor and turning the tables to do unto another what has been done unto them - in an effort to purge or heal their own past hurt. These experiences should be dealt with directly instead of projecting them onto a new relationship.
A healthy relationship - between any two individuals - would entail "active listening" and "nonviolent communication" techniques to overcome humiliation turning into aggression.
In the former, the partners (or parties) would take turns listening to each other without interruption, and then reflect back what they heard (paraphrasing, without interruption). That means the person feeling humiliated would say, "When you (fill in the behavior), I feel (feel in emotions) and that makes me (fill in behavior) and what I would like from you is (fill in request)."
Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D. Columbia University Teachers College.
20/01/2006, Margaret Tyndall kindly wrote:
Dear Evelin,
As a newcomer to the Human Dignity and Humilation Studies workshop I was awed by the meaningful work being done by so many, and inspired by the commitment creating a different world. Thank you for the opportunity.
Margaret15/02/2006, Judith Thompson kindly sent us the following:
Appreciative Facilitation: Hints for Round Table Moderators, written in February 2006 by Judith Thompson to support the moderators of our workshops.
Welcome Again!
I would like to end this newsletter by thanking you again for all the wonderful mutual support. I think there was nobody who did not contribute generously, therefore let me give my warmest thanks to ALL OF US! I very much look forward to our next conferences in Costa Rica in 2006!
Evelin, NY, December 2005
2003 – present, Human Dignity and Humiliation Studies